December 17th, 1998, my birthday. What a day to come out to my first two friends. I remember it vividly, perhaps a little too vividly. I remember it being an awful day to begin with. I had just come home from my freshman year of college, and I was already in distress. I had to have a doctors appointment to examine whether or not I may have testicular cancer. So, it was a stressor enough to have to wonder agonizingly about it.
I later saw my two friends at the store that I was working in, and for my birthday i was invited to one of their houses. We had talked the entire night about stuff that had gone on. Only, I could tell they had something on their minds. I knew it, the fact that I had a "fling" with our mutual friend between all 3 of us. They confronted me about it, and told me not to hide it anymore, because "they knew". It was so hard for me to tell them the truth, and it was then that i broke down and told them my whole life story....
I had been sexual abused by a neighbor early on in my childhood, and for those of you who have had the same experience, please do something about it, either tell someone, turn them in, or seek counseling, because I kept quite, and for that I am paying the price. All my life because of those repeated incidents I questioned who i really was. I tired my hardest to suppress my gay feelings throughout my school.
Thankfully, i came to college, and i was embraced by some wonderful friends who taught me to love myself. I am now a happier person, and I am at the point of my life (age 20 in Dec.) where, if someone asks me if i am gay, then I wont have a petrified feeling inside of me, i will say who I am. Hopefully, in time I will have the opportunity to share this with my parents as well. Oh yeah, I dont have cancer either YEAH!!
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