Well, I should start by saying that I am a 17 year old male from San Antonio, TX.
I have always felt as though there was something else to me than what met the eye. I, since the seventh grade, would get a crush on a male schoolmate (every now and then) whom I thought to be cute. I never realized what those feelings really meant since I was, and still am, attracted to girls. I thought every guy was like me.
When I was about the age of twelve I began to get into the internet and all it had to offer. Then I discovered the unamountable pornography located within. I soon realized how much I loved the male body. Well my father of course (being the homophobic man that he is) got incredibly angry with me the first three times he found the male porn on my computer. I was ashamed the first couple of times I did it, but then I realized that it was something I really enjoyed doing. "Why be ashamed of it?" I continuously asked myself.
I never realized how much my father was hurting me by makeing anti-gay comments using profound language. It was up until the point that my father had a long talk with me about how I needed to change my lifestyle and friendships that I felt guilty, depressed, and sometimes suicidal. I had good reasoning; my father wanted me to change or to get out of the house. I had to pick. I chose to tell him the truth about me, that I am bisexual, and that he could do nothing about it. But I told him that I loved him and that that would never change. He finally grew to accept me, but not my state of condition. He still has not let me live it down. However disheartening this whole ordeal may seem, I have actually been a more sincere person to my friends and my family. Not to mention the fact that I now have a closer than ever relationship with my dad. Sometimes facing your biggest fear is the way to succeed beyond yourself. I now know who I am because I can be honest with myself and with others.
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