I was molested by my brother at the age of nine. That was my first encounter with a guy. Not to long after that my cousin and I started to experience in the gay life style. That acting out with my cousin lasted for five years. When I was in Jr. high, I had a friend stay the night and I reach over when we were in bed and touch him. After that night we were in a relationship all through Jr. high and high school. The relationship with him ended when I got out of high school. I guess he did not want to be gay anymore. After he hurt me by not wanting to see me any more, my sexual addiction became out of control by having sex with male or female to get what I wanted out of sex. I have not told any one of my family members that I am gay. Only a few friends know. I will never come out to my family. Just taking the time to write this about me is taking a lot. All the years of holding it in about being gay was pure HELL. Letting certain friends know help me feel a little better about myself. I was glad that they did not make me feel worse then I already felt. Going through life being very mixed up about sex at a young age was very hard on me. I tried to act normel when I became old enough to see that sleeping with guys was not right within society. It scared the hell out of me if any one in my school would find out about me being gay. I went to a school in California that was run my gang members. I saw a boy that was beat up just for being gay. The day I saw that happen I knew I would never let that happen to me. Now that I look back on the way handle being gay when I was younger. I wish I took the time to handle being gay a different way. The HELL that I went through as I got older I wish upon know one that is dealing with being gay. Any one that is dealing with being gay, just take the time to be honest with your self. That will make it a lot better when you get older. Take care my friends
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