I have to say that this is not actually a "coming out" story. It is what I have been through TRYING to come out. I have known for longer than I care to admit that I was "different" for lack of a better word. I was a rather popular girl in school. You know the type, a cheerleader, one involved in a lot of school activities and all. Well, I hid things pretty well until my senior year. That is when I met someone who stole my heart. The bad thing about it though is that when my family began to pressure me about my sexuality I made the biggest mistake of my life, one that I am still paying for today. I ran from my problems and into the arms of one of my girlfriends best friends, who just so happened to be a man. I married him. He and I have a daughter together. He and I have been married for 4 years and it has been the hardest 4 years of my life. I am not happy and I am denying who I am. He knew that I had had relationships with women, but what he did not know was that I was really a lesbian in denial. A while back I ended up back with my girlfriend from high school. I still love her more than anything, but my family is once again putting pressure on me. They are now threatening to take away my daughter away from me unless I stay with my husband. As a matter of fact, they saw me and my girlfriend with my daughter in a store and they took her away. I am just to the point where I am giving up. I know that I am giving up a part of myself, but I just don't know what else to do anymore. It seems like I have been living for everyone else for so long that I don't know how to live for me anymore. I guess that is my story. As I said, it is not about coming out, but about being shoved back in the closet, so to speak. I wish everyone better luck than I have had.
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