Ms-HD Speaks

Dear Ms-HD,

I recently went to a prison pen pal site, and wrote to six prisoners. All where lifers, except one, in for 50 years for robbery. Knowing that three were in for murder, I decided to change my last name when I wrote to these people, and got a P.O. box. 1 1/2 months later, one of my favorite pen pals talks about how he hates when people lie and play games with him. He had two previous pen pals that he stopped communication with because of this. He writes four or five times a week, and he is very kind and respectful. Now I am feeling guilty because of the lie of using a different last name. I have six children, and I didn't want to jeopardize them incase one of them turned out violent and came to see me. Should I continue to not let him know about my name, or should I let him know now, so if ten years went by, and then he was told, he wouldn't be as hurt or angry? I would hate to hurt him, but also lose him as a friend. He knows that we are only friends, and that is all it could ever be.


Ms-HD speaks:

The protection of your children should be your first priority.
Continue to use the name you are using now.  If he finds out and
questions you, tell him it is the name you use for correspondence .
Do you know that lifer  does not mean natural life in most cases?
They will get out of prison at some time possibly.  Be careful and
live happy.




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