Ann Landers
Ann Landers really strikes out on a question about public etiquette

contributed by
Scott Miller

Considering that Ann Landers has come a long way from her severely homophobic origins, and generally has good advice on same-sex issues, today's column was like a blast of frigid wind from the Dark Ages. It was so bad, in fact, that it calls for a separate Action Alert.

In her lead story June 25th, Landers responds to a letter from a 35-year old woman who has just come out of the closet. The woman feels that she is accepted by her family, until the dreaded moment at her nephew's birthday party when she dared to place her hand on her partner's leg while sitting on the sofa. Now, despite apologizing for having had the audacity to show minimal affection for "the love of (her) life," she has been told that she is no longer welcome in her sister's house.

So how did Ann respond?

By berating this poor woman for showing discreet affection for her partner and instructing her to apologize again.

Ann, are you kidding?

First of all, since when is a simple touch between partners a horrible crime? It would be one thing for heavy duty make-out sessions to cause discomfort, but placing your hand on your partners leg while sitting on a couch? And then, rather than the sister gently confronting her sibling over this, she bars her from the house? If this is not an extreme homophobic reaction what is? Was Landers missing a cranium screw when she came to answering this letter?

It is bad enough that the glbt community is asked to be invisible. We are asked to be comic relief on television, but allowed no love life whatsoever. For Landers to endorse this is rude, damaging and extremely destructive. It is also unacceptable.

What she should have considered is this, whatever the rules of public displays of affection for homosexuals should be the same standards adhered to by heterosexuals. The very fact that the woman felt terrible for displaying the mildest signs of affection showed how she has bent over backwards to accomodate her hateful sister. And now she is told to apologize again as if she has done something unspeakable? This woman thought she had a family who gave a damn about her. Personally, I would have told the woman's sibling that she was an evil witch and to drop dead. It's a good thing I don't write the column. What is it you want gays and lesbians to do Ann, cut off our genitalia? Would that make us good gays?

She should have recognized the extreme homophobia and possibly offered the suggestion for the family to contact PFLAG so that they can better relate to their lesbian family member and her partner.

Meanwhile, what can you do? First write Landers at this email generating page.

Next, write your local paper that prints her column and complain about the offending piece. Demand a retraction by Ann to this destructive column. If we don't get one relatively soon, I would take it even further.

On June 25th Landers revealed herself to be an enemy of the gay and lesbian community. She has some explaining to do.

Scott

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